motivation

I feel and know my heart is ready and open for faith, for a love that I have never given into before. But I feel like I have to be very careful about the way in which I seek for this. I was greatly impacted by the influence God has had in a friends life, causing me to become curious and interested. But all the while it seems as though I am changing my heart for the acceptance of someone else. How do you ever let go if on one end you want to seek and find a higher purpose for yourself, but on the other end you realize someone has had a great impact on your beliefs and may be part of the reason why you begin to question and reasses your purpose and beliefs? I feel like I can't truly lose control if I'm trying to control the way in which my desire or reason for a change of heart for God appears to someone else. It's difficult. Someone I care much about and deeply respect has put a lot of things on my heart. And I know what I want is to feel and experience this unwavering love and presence from God. I feel like finally I was exposed in such a way that something clicked. Something was different and I was able to see Christianity in a positive light. I feel something greater than religion, more impactful for me than the Catholicsm of which I was raised, and a positive influence of God on my life. I guess I've been spending a lot of effort worrying about how my motivations appear from the outside when I know deep down inside it's me who is searching for a greater purpose, a greater love, and a greater power than I will ever have alone.