It's not about me

A recent conversation made me realize how selfish my life is. Everything I do is for myself and thinking about that makes me sick. I wake up to go to college to earn a degree to be able to support myself to raise a family to provide for my family and then what, I die. That can't be it. I love people, I love making people happy, I love seeing people happy, but what do I really do in my everyday life to see that happen. What can I do? I can stop thinking about myself so much. My little world is a minute part of the entire universe and beyond. I think I'm beginning to understand why people follow God. It is something to live for. It is finding meaning and purpose in something larger than ourselves. And I think I'm beginning to understand that the lives we live could be lived for that something which is greater than ourselves. Why has this been so hard for me to get? I always get stuck on the facts and needing proof to have faith, but faith is not that. Faith is the complete opposite. It is the belief or trust in something regardless of some factual truth or scientific explanation. And it's not just the weak or the strong who search for this, it's anyone. And that's a lot to accept, to give your control over to. To realize it's not about the strength you carry in yourself alone but what gives you that strength. Now accepting that and living that kind of life is the ongoing struggle I presume.